I Just Don't Care

It has taken me an awfully long time to get to this point, but something AWESOME happened today! I'm not sure if it is just an experience that I have been blessed to have for this one day or if I will be blessed to experience it for longer!  Praying that it sticks around for awhile! :)

Earlier today someone (in my family) made a negative comment about how I looked.  Like almost any other girl reacts, usually comments like that, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, would send me spirally into hours of internalized self-destruction (telling myself things like "even your family thinks you are ugly", "you need to lose weight", ect.) And I would probably spend a good hour in front of the mirror trying to fix my "imperfect" whatever.

But today, instead of internalizing the comment, it sort of fell right off of me.  IT DIDN'T STICK. I honestly can't even explain why, but the moment it didn't stick I felt something different.  I even responded differently.  My response was, "I just don't care what you think."  Not with an attitude at all.  To be perfectly honest, I don't really remember even thinking about my response... I just sort of said it without thinking.

But to experience that feeling of not caring what other people think about me, even if it was only that once, for the first time ever is probably one of the coolest things ever! I hope I don't ever forget how empowering it was to not have to care about what negative comment someone made about me!





Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. ---> Galatians 1:10 

Casting the Stones

In light of the recent events that have unfolded during this past week in my community, I can't keep quiet anymore.  Sin, according to the dictionary, is any immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.  In other words, any act that violates God's will.  

Manifesting itself into humanity way back in the Garden of Eden, the first example of sin in the Bible proves that even people who are the closest to God can fall victim to Satan's tricks.  Let me repeat that, EVEN THE CLOSEST PEOPLE TO GOD CAN FALL TO SIN.  Why? Because for a split second in that garden, Eve took her eye's off of God- and the same thing can be true for anyone who believes in God and takes their eyes off of him. (see Hebrews 12:1 & 2)

The Bible is very clear that we are ALL sinners (Romans 3:23) and that all sin is EQUAL (James 2:10 & 11) in God's eyes. There are no levels of sin- murdering and swearing are equal.  According to governmental law, no they are not equal, but Jesus still had to pay the same price for a man who committed murder as for a man who had a foul mouth. But my point is, when you look at any sin, the spiritual consequences are the same:  JESUS DIED TO PAY THE PRICE FOR IT.  

Another thing the Bible is very, very clear on is that we are not a rightful judge of those who have sinned.  Only God is the Righteous Judge (Luke 6:37; Matthew 7:1-5). 
John 8 tells a story of an adulterous woman who was brought before Jesus  by the Pharisees who said "The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?" Recognizing that this was a test and knowing that the law of Moses said that both man and woman were to be stoned for committing adultery, Jesus's response blew them away. "Let the one who has never sinned be the first to throw a stone!" At this response the accusers dropped the stones of judgement they had clenched in their hands and walked away one by one and Jesus was left standing alone with the woman.  And he forgave her. 

I think the biggest thing I am trying to emphasize is that no matter what, we are called by God to hate the sin and love the sinner. God is the only Righteous Judge, not us.  All we can do is continue to pray. Pray for the sinner and all who have been involved. "Let he who has never sinned be the first to throw a stone" at this sinner in our community- I won't be casting any.  

Tell Yourself What You Know Now

Boyfriends in middle school are overrated.  Never let your family slip out from under your nose. Pray for the people you dislike. Chewing bubble gum all the time will give you TMJ. There is no such thing as playing too many sports. You are never to old for snuggling on the couch with your daddy.  Wait 5 minutes to take a drink of hot coffee. Playing in the rain is potentially the most stress-relieving thing I have discovered yet.  Body pillows are the best for sore backs and hips. Stay in contact with your old friends, you never know when you will run into them again. Wear tennis shoes to Shipshewana. Walk barefoot in the grass after it has rained. Sleep on a hammock for a night with blankets and hot tea.  Jump on a trampoline in the rain. Don't go anywhere by yourself in unfamiliar places. Make a recipe you have never made before.  Eat too much cookie dough. Don't take dramamine until you start to feel nauseous- it will knock you out. Buy something just cause you want to and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  Spend as much time as you can with the people who care about you.  Go see a disney movie (especially if you are an adult). Learn how to longboard- it looks awesome. Boys that smooth talk aren't always wanting to get into your pants. There are such thing as jumping cactuses- AND THEY HURT.  Read the bible every morning, it makes your day go a lot smoother.  Skip a class or two- no, the teachers won't be mad. Eat a Big Mac before you get diagnosed with celiac disease. Stay up late to talk to your siblings. Don't argue with people over tedious things. Hug your parents before you go to bed.  Say I love you too much. 

Gonna Give All My SECRETS Away

But don’t be afraid of those who threaten you. For the time is coming when everything that is covered will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the rooftops for all to hear!
(Matthew 10:26-27) 





Of one thing I am fairly certain: secrets are kept out of fear.  Fear of being judged, fear of disappointing, fear of receiving consequences, fear of wanting to change, fear of hurting someone else.  In my own life and in the lives of my family and closest friends, I have seen firsthand how a secret that is kept out of fear causes erratic behavior.  I have seen fear change people into things they are not- YOU aren't YOU when you are being controlled by fear!   

I remember when I was a little girl and I stole a candy bar from Walmart. I knew what I was doing was wrong; my parents had definitely raised me better than that. Shaking like a leaf, I somehow managed to conceal it until I got home.  By the time I had gotten up to my room and planned to indulge on the candy bar, I was shaking so bad and felt so nauseous, I really didn't even want the candy bar anymore.  Leaving the candy bar on my dresser, I went downstairs. My mom could clearly tell there was something wrong with me.  After finally confessing to my crime, my mom scooped me back up and we made the drive back to Walmart so I could go apologize to the manager.  
 
My point with this story, which is true I might add, is that because I was so consumed by keeping this secret out of fear that I would get into trouble, I had become something that I was not created for.  God did not create you and I to carry fear and secrets in our lives.  By settling to live in fear or with a secret is allowing Satan access to you and your mind.   

I have truly been blessed to have people in my life who I can share my fears and secrets with.  They surround me with truth and encourage me that I was not born to house a spirit of secrets.  That is what I want to share with the world today. Give all your secrets away to God; because by his stripes we are set free and healed! You are not a child of fear! You are royalty. You have destiny.  You are a child of the LIVING, BREATHING GOD!



 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
(2 Timothy  1:7)

For the Frustrated...

WE___ARE___FREE!

To the priest in his cage who forgives all the rage,

To the unfaithful woman with the rope in her face, 

To the beaters and cheaters, abusing believers, 

To broken politicians and crooked corporate leaders, 

To the girl with closed eyes told in two months she'll die, 

To the father and mother who can't save her life, 

To the gentleman who knows no sin and lacks propriety, 

To the clergymen convicting sin and clinging to legality, 

To the thief in the cell and the whore on the floor, 

To those I admire, look up to, adore,

To the liars, critics, drunkards amiss, 

TO THE SCENE WITH THE CROSS ON THE SASH ROUNDED CHEST! 

WE ARE FREE!